What is Success? By Judie Silver ©2007 Take the Lid Off Inc
Society labels me successful. I earn an above average income; have always been well mannered, kind and very giving of myself. I have a good man to share my life. I’m charitable. Always calm, cool and collected. People like me.
On the inside, however, I never felt comfortable. I have judged myself very harshly and have secretly struggled with knowing who I am, what I wanted from life and with being satisfied with any part of myself. I always believed that one day I would be discovered for the fraud that I felt I was.
As a child, I didn’t have very much control over my life. Emotional and physical abuses were common. I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion and wasn’t encouraged to do well in school. As the second oldest of ten children, I learned to take responsibility at a young age. I learned to control myself, my emotions and my reactions to others. I lost myself and I didn’t even know it.
Over the years, I’ve worked on my baggage, and I’ve been fortunate to cross paths with one or two skilled and caring teachers. Despite all my efforts, I had only taken baby steps to owning on the inside what I projected to the world on the outside.
Three years ago, I attended a workshop given by Patricia Wall (Trish), which has led me on an incredible journey of self-discovery. As I began to use the tools I learned in Trish’s workshop I realized that I was especially good at ignoring my own needs, stuffing them so far down that they couldn’t see the light of day. Oh sure, I have treated myself to days at the spa, that great new outfit or piece of jewellery and the occasional indulgent holiday. But I have come to understand that I have needs on a far deeper level than could be satisfied with those temporary pick-me-ups.
It is in understanding and meeting those deeper needs that the feelings of inner peace, happiness and joy have finally begun to come into my life. I have always been a strong person, yet this deeper understanding has given me a new kind of strength I hadn’t known was possible.
It’s been an easier journey than you might think. Trish’s tools have given me a channel to connect with the sources of my inner turmoil. I now know how to identify what I need, giving me the opportunity to meet those needs so that I can be at peace. I have access to choices I couldn’t see before, and the ability to make what I choose reality in my life.
As I do this work, I’ve noticed wonderful changes in myself. I no longer need to control everything in my world, or take responsibility for everyone and everything, which was exhausting! I have much more energy and I feel freer. I feel more intelligent and capable and much less like a fraud. I feel more beautiful and even a little sexy! I am discovering who I really am, what I want and need. My life’s purpose has come into focus and I’m working towards fulfilling that purpose. Overall, I am happier, calmer and more at peace.
Every day, my inside is becoming what you see on the outside. I lost myself in childhood and today I am finding myself more and more each day. I am becoming master of myself and my life. In the joouney of self-mastery I’ve discovered happiness, purpose and joy. How great is that?
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Relationship Challenge
Going Beyond Success
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