Cycling in the Rain by Linda Searson - © 2007 Take the Lid Off Inc
I cycled to work in the rain this morning, a brisk twenty minute ride along the Ottawa River Parkway. Two minutes after I started out rain drops began to fall. I could have turned around, but I didn’t. The “me” that I was two months ago, would have; in fact, she wouldn’t have even wanted to cycle to work. But the “me” that I am today cycled in the rain and even enjoyed it!
So, how and why am I different today than I was two months ago? The how is easy – I am happy. If a friend who hadn’t seen me for a while was to visit, they would say “You’re so happy! What’s going on with you?” The answer is this: I find joy in what I do each day, whether it is big or small. I find joy in the daily interactions with my family, friends and co-workers, in our conversations, our activities, and in simple pleasures like sharing a hug.
The why is a culmination of many things that began in February 2007 with a telephone call to a colleague to ask about his weight loss success. My colleague sent me to the Mind Over Weight Workshop of Patricia Wall. I started a journey that continues to take me to new places of self-learning and awareness; and a journey that is bringing others along on my voyage of healing. I can honestly say that I have not felt unhappy since the day this journey began.
At the Mind Over Weight workshop I learned how emotional responses occupy our ‘driver’s seat,’ while our logical thinking takes the passenger seat. Our emotional responses are patterns of behaviour learned from our childhood. In a nutshell, I learned that my weight gain, which brought on feelings of self-loathing, despair and unhappiness, as well as physical manifestations such as sore lower back, bloating, and more, was in fact a symptom of longstanding internal conflicts operating in my subconscious mind. My forty year old body was being driven by a hurt, neglected, eight year old girl who needed to be freed, so that I can fulfil my life’s purpose. I don’t yet know what my life’s purpose is, but the signs are becoming clearer along my life highway! I feel a sense of purpose in what I am doing to heal my wounded inner child and this feeling is so rewarding that, well, I am happy.
So much of what Patricia Wall taught at the workshop resonated with me, partly because it makes sense, but also in part because I’ve always been open to believing in ‘someone or something else out there’ that nudges us along in difficult times. As a result, I was open to learning more about what Patricia had to teach about energy healing and self-mastery. I’m not great at meditation, terrible at deep breathing, and certainly haven’t mastered using the tools; however, I have experienced positive changes.
What has been really exciting is that as I share what I am learning with my spouse, family, friends and colleagues, they are supportive, receptive and engaging. I have seen positive changes in their thoughts and actions towards themselves and others. My brother, who has struggled with addictions all his life, has become a stronger person and is taking more responsibility for his actions, is noticeably happier, and this in turn has caused a new, wonderful relationship between us. In turn, this new relationship has over-ridden the negative relationship we had when I was a young child who was neglected, hurt, and left alone when her older siblings left the family home. That ‘part’ of my wounded inner child is no longer there. Multiply that example by several more that I could give if this were a book, and you would have a better understanding of why I am a happier person and those around me are happier people.
I continue to read, learn, grow, and share, in my journey towards fulfilment of my life’s purpose. I don’t know how long it will take for me to reach my final destination, or what detours, rest stops, and magnificent views lay ahead; but I do know this – I am certainly enjoying the ride! I am in the driver’s seat, my wounded inner child is in the passenger seat, and those that I love and hold dear to me are along for the ride. It was raining this morning, but we packed our lunch and happily departed on time anyway, cycling in the rain.
Linda Searson has been a federal public servant for 22 years. Linda loves her job because she enjoys the people with whom she works; however, she knows that it’s not her life’s calling.
Linda Searson
Manager, Policy and Planning Unit
Chronic Disease Prevention Division
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